Do you remember when your father would put on this tune and get the whole family up to dance?
I bet you remember. Everyone's family was at it back in the day. 'Get up', says the father and the mother springs up and claps her hands and goes to the record player and on it comes - full blast. 'Get up you shower of fucks', demands the father and up we get. 'But I'm tired from school', protests the big sister but it's no use. 'Get up!' Get Up! GET UP!'. And then the whole family is dancing. Dancing around the sitting room. Marching dancing kind of. A kind of march/dance thing. All around the sitting room, even the dog, out the door and into the kitchen and across the hall and up the stairs and in and out of the jax and back down the stairs and out the front door and around the garden and through the neighbour's garden (the father giving the fingers when the neighbour looks out the window) and then back into the house and back into the sitting room just as the tune comes to an end and 'put it back on Mairéad' demands the father and your mother (whose name is no doubt Mairéad) claps her hands and back on it goes and march/dancing the family goes, repeating the circuit, even the dog, fingers to your man next door and back to the sitting room and then the song ends and 'put it back on Mairéad' and off we go and do the whole thing again and back to the sitting room and 'put it back on Mairéad' and off we go, even the dog, around and around, fingers to your man, and 'put the fucker back on Mairéad' and off we go, again and again and the dog runs away and 'put it back on Mairéad' and dance/marching it is, on and on, and a 'fuck you' to next door and the sister runs away and back to the sitting room and 'put it back on Mairéad' and more dance/marching and here come the guards and here's social services and the father gets a caution and it's back to the sitting room and 'put it back on Mairéad' and so on and so on for about three and half hours until everyone is so knackered and out of it that they all collapse in a heap and the father gets to watch the snooker in peace. Sly bastards fathers. It was the same in every house.